My take on the Dobler-Dahmer Theory

TODAY I’m going to talk about something that’s been on my mind for so, so long, but I never brought it up for fear of being politically incorrect. Since I don’t have a name for the ‘phenomenon’ myself, I’ll just steal borrow the name it’s already (sort of) famous by- The Dobler-Dahmer Theory.

In the simplest, crudest of ways… The Dobler-Dahmer Theory can be explained like this


Or this


… which, I whole-heartedly accept, is very unfair. For example, an Italian guy’s ‘Ciao, Bella!’ is generally considered a compliment, and an Indian guy’s ‘Hallo, Beautiful!’ is harassment?

Now, for me, the problem arises when I (the so-called believer of ‘Equality’) begin to think the same way. When I was contemplating couchsurfing the very first time, one of the hosts I was considering was a very, let’s say, aesthetically pleasing Russian guy in Munich. Of course, I would have eventually refused because he didn’t have enough references, but, looking back, I’m sure I kept up at that conversation for as long as I did because of how he looked.

Of course, it’s a harsh reality. But I’ve also seen, with my very own eyes, the different treatment two little boys I know get. Both are, I don’t know, like 6 or 7 now. They’re cousins and usually always hang around together. One of them is the one of chubbiest, cutest, cuddliest kid I’ve seen. The other? A regular kid. Not un-cute, by any means. But he’s your standard scrawny 7 year old. Mr Chubs gets SO much more love than the other one, it’s quite appalling actually. I’m pretty much equally indifferent to both (not a big fan of crying kids), but it’s clear to see the ‘preferential treatment’ just because of the difference in looks!

This is Ted Bundy, an indisputable piece of eye candy, also one of the most gruesome serial killers in history.


Jeffrey Dahmer. Going by my stupid theory, who would ever guess he was a deranged serial killer? (Yes, it’s the same Dahmer as the title, and I realise I’m using his name in two conflicting contexts, but you get what I’m trying to say, right?)


When I go through couchsurfing profiles, the first thing that strikes me is, naturally, the pictures. Then I look at references, and finally I look more in detail at their actual profiles.

There were times when I was apprehensive about talking to certain people just because they looked goonda-ish. And eventually they turned out to be angels. And then I feel really stupid and mean and petty, I wish I could get over this. I’m trying. Let’s add that to my Resolutions for 2014 then.

There were, of course, also times where someone looked perfectly decent and eventually turned out to be an utter creep. Oh well, you live and learn!!

But aren’t we all guilty of this? Have you ever judged someone purely on looks? (YES, I KNOW IT’S WRONG!!!)  How did that eventually turn out- was your first impression right or wrong?


9 responses to “My take on the Dobler-Dahmer Theory

  1. Pingback: How I Deal With OMGIMGOINGTODIE Moments | perpetuallyperipatetic·

  2. Pingback: Moving to Milano- Part 2 | perpetuallyperipatetic·

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